In Memoriam

Tatum was a good friend to many, going out of her way to make sure everyone was included and felt welcomed & safe. In honor of Tatum, a "Buddy Bench" has been placed on her school playground. Anyone who needs a friend can go sit on that bench. We know Tatum would have been the first kid to go make a friend on that bench and lots of her little friends carry on in her memory, doing just that.

At the Benton Franklin Humane Society...

A letter to my niece, on her 13th birthday.

Dear Tatum,

Today you are 13.

Happy Birthday.

Today you would be starting life as a teenager.

What would your world look like?

What would light your passion, fuel your soul and excite your heart?

How would your spirit affect the world?

Heartbreakingly, we can only imagine,

dream,

pretend.

You are not here with us in body, so we can only wonder.

13 years ago when you came into this world, you changed our family and you changed our roles.

We became parents, grandparents, an Aunt and an Uncle.

For 7 years we got to see you grow and learn and explore your world,

quickly shaping from a baby,

to a little girl,

to a “young lady, “

seemingly overnight.

Then you left us.

Once again, our family was forever changed,

as your passing took great parts of us with you.

The parts of us that are left have had to figure out how to move through the days carrying the weight of grief yet honoring your life at the same time.

In these days leading up to this important birthday,

many a run has been spent thinking about you,

what you at 13 would be like,

how our family would be with you still here and, perhaps most importantly, wondering if living in memories is the right way to honor the life you had?

Then I realized,

you’ve actually answered this most important question time and time again.

You keep sending signs;

we just didn’t always see them…..or maybe we didn’t want to.

You have always been right here.

You will always be right here.

I finally get it, Tatum.

I finally get it.

This, my dear niece, is my birthday gift to you.

Today we CELEBRATE you.

And tomorrow we CELEBRATE you.

And for every day after, we CELEBRATE you.

To truly honor the life you had here with us means we need to live ours’

for you

and with you

as you live in our hearts and head and travel with us from above.

As life moves along, so do you……

with us as a thought, as a smile, as tears;

As a rainbow, as a lady bug, as a butterfly;

As a feeling, as a giggle from the air, as a song on the radio.

We will cherish the 7 years of memories with you,

bring them with us as we continue this journey and ponder what your presence might have added when we are creating new ones.

We will mark the memory of your life in the time that you were here

rather than the time that you’ve been gone.

We will take extra joy when we are visiting a place you loved,

eating your favorite meal,

watching your favorite movie,

reading your favorite book.

.

We will be living for you rather than living without you.

This, Tatum, is our gift to you.

Living for you, not without you.

You are right here.

You’ve always been right here.

You will continue to be right here.

Happy, Happy 13th Birthday, Tatum Nicole.

We celebrate you, today and every day.

We celebrate you until we are together again.

With much love to you and for you,

Your Aunt,

Lisa